A Once-in-a Life-Time Bite

I was working this afternoon when I became aware that there was a conversation going on nearby with several of my co-workers. I also noted that there was a female voice that I did not immediately recognize. Just as a note, my team is made up of all men; my manager is the only female in the group. As I was in the middle of something, I did not immediately see what was going on. However, a few minutes later, when I got to a stopping point, I got up and walked a couple of cubes down to where the group was congregated.

The female voice belonged to a member of another team. As I gathered from conversation, she had brought over a serrano chile pepper to one of the team members. It had been decided by some of the guys to taste the pepper. Three of my team had already tried it when I walked over and they were urging two other members to try some (as I found out later, it's probably because they did not want to suffer alone).

One of the guys who had already partaken asked if I wanted to try some. I joked, asking if he wanted to see a grown man cry. In a couple of minutes, the lady left and we, the guys, continued to talk. After a few minutes, I decided that I would go ahead and try some of the pepper. After all, I eat jalapeno peppers, so I could handle this, right? I could hang with these tough dudes, couldn't I?

There was already a piece cut off, so I started to pick that up. When I did, the guys who had already sampled mercifully suggested that maybe I should cut it in half. I decided that was a good idea and now am sooo glad I did not try the whole piece.

Once I had cut the piece in half, I casually popped half of it into my mouth. Here's a bulleted list of my thoughts and feelings and reactions:

• Within a second of the pepper entering my mouth, I was regretting my poor decision and macho attitude. This had to be the hottest (as in spices) thing I've ever put in my mouth.
• My mouth and throat were immediately searing.
• My eyes began to water.
• I was wishing desperately for a whole gallon of milk and a whole loaf of bread to help put out the flames. The water in my cup just wasn't cutting it - it just spread the incendiary oils down my esophagus.
• I went to the restroom to wash my hands thoroughly to make sure that I washed all of the oils off so I would not later inflict further pain on myself if I touched my eyes or nose.
• A little bit later, my stomach started feeling a little queasy and it started rumbling audibly.
• About an hour later I got a head ache. I sometimes get them form staring at the computer screen too much, so I cannot be sure it was tied to the pepper, but I'm going with that as my guess.
• I decided that this level of heat would not be good on any food - you wouldn't be able to taste any other flavors.
• Burps were very spicy for a while.
• I kept drinking water, enjoying the momentary relief and deludedly hoping for permanent relief.
• With the passing of time, the burning began to subside. For a while, my mouth felt similar to what it does when the anesthetic is wearing off after a visiting to the dentist's office.
• I must have gotten some of the oils on the hair of my moustache as every now and then, after I drank some water, I would experience a fresh burning sensation in spots on my lips.

Back at my desk, I decided to do a little research on this instrument of torture - the serrano pepper. I found out it is not the hottest pepper out there but one site rates it as five times as hot as a jalapeno - if only I had known. There is a spicy hot index, called Scoville Heat Units. The serrano rates from 10,000 to 20,000 Scoville Heat Units, per Wikipedia. Habanero chile peppers are supposed be some of the hottest available, rating at 200,000 to 300,000 units! If it had been one of those, the coroner would have been removing my charred remains from the office. I cannot even imagine tasting one of those.

Never again. Never, never, ever again.

Update 08/23/2007: In my recounting of the events of yesterday, I did not include the fact that my co-worker had another pepper, of a different variety, on his desk. Today I heard another co-worker ask him if he was going to eat that pepper. The way he asked it indicated that the other guy was in fact, preceding to do just that. I just stayed in my seat and kept working.